It's been some time since I really would like to write about my dearest father. However every time I tried to start writing, I could not stand the feeling, so down, so sad and how I missed him very much. Until today, 7 December 2012.
I really have to write about him. He was someone extra ordinary. I always want to write about him since he was alive. But I thought, it will be a sad one when he passed away. Then he passed away, now me, I really have to write a book about him. Published or not, that is a different story. But I will write a book of him. Now, I am writing preliminary to it. An article of his legacy. One of his biggest legacies: kindness.
These past two days, my company sponsored the whole group of our department for training. The training was “The 7 habit of highly effective people”. Yes, it is a famous program by Dr. Stephen Covey. As the trainer went from foundation to habit 1, 2 and 3 and then continued with habit number 4, 5, 6 and then 7, I realized, all those traits are in my father's legacy. It is maybe the fact that my father’s birthday just a few days earlier (December 2nd), the memory of him was very strong.
He read that book. He told me he had read the book. He had it in his bookcase (one of many books he had). I just didn’t want to read it, since so many people talking about it (well, I am that type of person who does not like to do something overkill: p ). However, far more important than reading the book, he reflected all those habits in his real life. I am one of the witnesses. I will write it in my book of him, explaining how the habits showed in his life. But for this one, I am writing of the end result.
I really have to write about him. He was someone extra ordinary. I always want to write about him since he was alive. But I thought, it will be a sad one when he passed away. Then he passed away, now me, I really have to write a book about him. Published or not, that is a different story. But I will write a book of him. Now, I am writing preliminary to it. An article of his legacy. One of his biggest legacies: kindness.
These past two days, my company sponsored the whole group of our department for training. The training was “The 7 habit of highly effective people”. Yes, it is a famous program by Dr. Stephen Covey. As the trainer went from foundation to habit 1, 2 and 3 and then continued with habit number 4, 5, 6 and then 7, I realized, all those traits are in my father's legacy. It is maybe the fact that my father’s birthday just a few days earlier (December 2nd), the memory of him was very strong.
He read that book. He told me he had read the book. He had it in his bookcase (one of many books he had). I just didn’t want to read it, since so many people talking about it (well, I am that type of person who does not like to do something overkill: p ). However, far more important than reading the book, he reflected all those habits in his real life. I am one of the witnesses. I will write it in my book of him, explaining how the habits showed in his life. But for this one, I am writing of the end result.
For you who have not read the book, in early start Dr. Covey talked much about character. He found in his research of those 100-200 years earlier, successful defined by people with character, while in recent years, it shifted a bit, by personality trait. What was the different? Please refer to his writings J
My father then was a man with real great characters. He also was such a believer of “process” not only “result”. Don’t get me wrong, people who value “process” does not mean they do not want result. They just want a result with great process. Somehow different than nowadays successful people I have met. That is quite true; character nowadays is a very expensive yet forgotten.
Characters of him that I am talking about some are hardworking, honest, sincere, integrity, kindness, persistence. They showed in his life so much. People who know him would agree with me, these characters lied deep within him. When it will be showed up?
When you die, what people will say about you? That kept resonating in my ears after his passing away.
When you die, what people will say about you? That kept resonating in my ears after his passing away.
He passed away in 6 March 2011. It was not expected of course. The amazing thing for me was the respective guests, of his families, friends, colleagues who gave last respectful visit to him. Thousands!
Starting the day when the news broke, he went to sleep in Jesus’ lap in Aix en Provence France. Families started to come to our house, mostly crying. It was followed day by day visitors coming in to my house while his body was still flying from Aix to Paris, to Kuala Lumpur and finally Jakarta. When his body arrived on the 12 March 2011, hundreds of people were in our house waiting for his coming. On 13 March 2011, thousands of people coming giving their last respect to him. A body in silent.
For him, he ended his life very well. He did everything well. At the last days in his life, he encountered himself a close relationship with his Creator: The Greatest God. How beautiful that is. More to it, he was a great (great) father to me, my brother and my sister. A great husband to my mom, serious! He was a dear son to his parents. Good brother to his siblings. A much beloved uncle by his nieces and nephews. He was a successful man at work achieved high position in his company, extra ordinary, different than other CEO / President Director of government owned company, let me emphasize that, DIFFERENT! By the way, he is also a passionate golfer and tennis player. Toward all of us, his caring kindness touched our lives.
He was a great man in his society. He gave so much to his society. How many people out there, had involved in building with own sweats, time, money, energy, two churches? Or a school? At least those three things really were his aspiration, love and devotion to his society. Toward them, his determination showed his devotional generosity love.
He was a respected man in his cultural community; he brought his grandfather’s, his father's legacy with him. He actively involved in cultural ceremonies whenever his participation expected. To them, his commitment described his respect to where he coming from.
He was a man so much loved by his subordinate. They were not 10 of them, not hundreds, thousands! He was adored by thousands of his subordinate. How many of us are like that? Toward them, he was inspirational leader; his hard-working ethic blended with his humbleness and tolerant showed them a great leadership within him.
He was a great man in his society. He gave so much to his society. How many people out there, had involved in building with own sweats, time, money, energy, two churches? Or a school? At least those three things really were his aspiration, love and devotion to his society. Toward them, his determination showed his devotional generosity love.
He was a respected man in his cultural community; he brought his grandfather’s, his father's legacy with him. He actively involved in cultural ceremonies whenever his participation expected. To them, his commitment described his respect to where he coming from.
He was a man so much loved by his subordinate. They were not 10 of them, not hundreds, thousands! He was adored by thousands of his subordinate. How many of us are like that? Toward them, he was inspirational leader; his hard-working ethic blended with his humbleness and tolerant showed them a great leadership within him.
His ex-bosses and co-worker, expressed their missing to my family by holding us tight, giving hugs and tears. Toward them, he was a fun to be with, at the same time hard-worker, unselfish person.
He was loved dearly by his classmates, who always stayed in close contact with him even until his last moment in earth. How many of us still go out, have a great laugh with our senior high school mates or even junior high school? Towards them, his being of open-mind, modest, mature, was making him one of reliable dear colleague.
At the end, all ends in one word: KIND.
I can't continue now, my eyes filled with tears. I miss you a lot pap.
